Home » in the kitchen » The, “i hate my life” carrot cake cupcakes

The, “i hate my life” carrot cake cupcakes

Just to set the record straight – I don’t hate my life. Not even close.

Ok, I came pretty close to it today at about 6:30 pm as I pulled these gorgeous looking sugar-free, low fat, vegan carrot cake cupcakes out of the oven and then quickly realized that I created a Monster.

A monster, I say.

I don’t know what went wrong – what happened, but we’re having a ceremonial ‘burning of the cupcakes’ tomorrow at dawn.

They’re gross. They taste like burnt salt and prunes (probably because you have to use an inordinate amount of baking soda and baking powder to get them to rise with no eggs AND you use prunes to sweeten them – I know, that probably should have tipped me off right there…) they look fine on the outside until you break them open and  – wow!- it’s all goo.

Goo. And raw carrot shreds.

They didn’t bake. They didn’t bake, even though my oven runs hot and they were in there for twice the recommended time.

I was going to compromise – make healthy cupcakes and use a regular cream cheese frosting on them, but I quickly shuffled the cream cheese back into the fridge, I didn’t want it to be discouraged at the site of the cupcakes.

It was awful.

And they’re all sitting on my counter looking like a small army of zombie muffins.

I’m going to try again, only I am going to make these deadly-looking Sea Salt Brownies with Salted Caramel Sauce. I will eat them all and forget about the monstrous carrot cupcakes… forever.

The End.


6 thoughts on “The, “i hate my life” carrot cake cupcakes

  1. i should tell you about the fudge i tried to cook for christmas! i double batched it. the pan was too small to allow it to boil to the right temp, it never set, was just sugary goo- added oatmeal…. just pasted over, rolled over and died. tried boilling it again and it went too much and came out as brittle… ended up with what looked like beef jerky until you touched it and it was hard as a rock, you could let it melt in your mouth but at a certain point it woyld lose its candy taste and start embracing the oatmeal mushness.. disaster. so don’t fret… crumble up the carrot muffins, bake it to a crisp and if they dont work at croutons, sprinkle then around your garden to show the bunnys what you do to carrots so THEY better watch out.lol

  2. That is a truly traumatic tale! If it makes you feel any better, there was the time I made the mistake of replacing sour cream in a cupcake recipe with nonfat Greek yogurt (p.s., NEVER, under ANY circumstances, replace sour cream in a cupcake recipe with nonfat Greek yogurt). Beautiful, but tasted like nothing. I just don’t think lowfat cupcakes are possible. Reduced sugar, sure, but lowfat? Fuggetaboutit!

    Make the brownies. Come to the decidedly non-diet dark side and forget all about those sad, sad cupcakes. 😉

    • The dark side, eh? Does the dark side provide gym memberships yet, because last time I checked all they offered was free elastic waist-band alterations! 😉
      It’s only a matter of time… I’m coming, I’m coming!

  3. For the life of me, I can’t understand why anyone would want to put vegetables in a dessert (cake/muffins). If it’s justifiable, then why not the reverse? For example: hot fudge on peas.

    • Oh, I don’t know – chocolate, peas – is there anything not improved by chocolate?
      Vegetables got roped into being dessert foods due to our innate, guilt-driven passion to believe that adding vegetation to cake makes it ‘good for you’. True story.

"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook." Julia Child

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